TINY TEARS
To the child I held in my heart alone
You will never get to know your wonderful home.
As your toys lay quiet
Your bed silent and cold
The cloths we bought you
I am to sad to fold.
The door has been closed
I can't bear to in
Just brings back that night again.
The things that were said
Because then I couldn't cry
Right now I am
There's a tear in my eye.
I miss you so much
Why aren't you here?
You tried to tell me
But I didn't hear.
I know you're still with me
Standing so tall
A hand on my shoulder
So I won't fall.
But my darling child
These tiny tears
Will never replace
All the lost years.
For the memory of CTA~FEB. 16, 2003 / APR. 16, 2003 2 months
We miss you COJ-TEJ, Love Mommy and Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earlier this year we lost our first child. He was 2 months old. Well ok 2 months in my heart, he was yet to be "born" if you will. I havd what is called a miscarrage. However, when I wouldn't stop bleeding and cramping realy bad and had to go to the ER I was accused of having an abortion and looking for sympathy. AS FUCKING IF!!!!!!!!!!!! I was accused just because I wasn't bawling my head off. I was in shock. They didn't even offer for the chaplain or a councilor to come talk to me.
I now want to try and have another child. I am however terrified that I will become pregnant again because of some bull shit that happened in the past what if they take a lie and take my child away.I didn't do anything. I pruned fucking roses and blackberries. Is that so wrong? And like mist yardwork I got scratched up. And I had to take KT to a dance and check her in with a cop that was security for the school (foster child) and I forgot to wear gloves to hide it and he accused me of being a self mutalator and my who world fell to shit.
I realy hate cops that are bullys and make you say things that aren't true.............